A List That Could Go On For Miles

Things I'm Thankful For:

- A loving Savior who forgives me everytime I screw up (which is often)

- My amazing family that always supports me, comforts me, and takes care of me, in my brightest of times and darkest moments

- The opportunity to receive an education from the most amazing school

- The comfort of my warm home, my couch, my bed, my electronics, my clothes

- Books that take me to other worlds and enrich my mind

- The new friends that I've made this year that I know will last for a lifetime; friends who genuinely care about me and wish to see me do well

- The old friends I've known my whole life that, despite our distance, will always be there for me if and when I need them

- The aspects of my health that I so often take for granted

- The experiences that I've had throughout my life that so many would love to have

- The fact that I have the potential, willpower, and resources to make a difference in someone's life

I know I complain way too much sometimes, I'm human; but I am so incredibly blessed. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone :)

I am way too scatterbrained. But welcome back!

Why hey there, blogger.com. It's been way too long.

Since August, actually. Since I've gotten to school, I really haven't had much time to breathe, much less blog. What should I be doing right now? Writing a paper. But my mind is already in Thanksgiving break mode and it's just not going to happen at the moment. I've missed blogging, even though I never really got into it the way that I wanted to. I don't really have a focus for this entry, and my blogging skills are a bit rusty, so just bear with me. Or don't. That's cool too.

So if you're still here despite that horrible intro, I guess I'll start off by saying that I need a life. Yeah, I know, you're probably thinking, "Well Lauren, I could have told you that one." What I mean by this is that I've noticed here lately how much I talk about school, schoolwork, my future, grades, finals, etc etc etc. I mean hey, I'm at Carolina and this is kind of what we do - after all, that's what got us here, right? But I'm getting tired of letting it define the majority of my conversations. It already consumes almost all of my time. I would say I need a hobby, but I don't have time for one. Blegh. #firstworldproblems

Seriously though, despite the constant stress of school (which I will try not to complain about because that's why I am here and what will get me far in life and yadda yadda), I feel incredibly blessed to have met people that I know genuinely care about me. I haven't been here that long, and honestly I haven't had better friends in my entire life. Everyone here is so amazing and I'm glad to have found them. God definitely put them in my life for a reason and I am so thankful.

That being said, things aren't all gumdrops and roses right now. I normally try to keep a very optimistic outlook on my situation, but I got really down last night because I started to really focus on everything that has been taken from me. There are so many things I can't do - and yes, there are a ton of things I CAN do and I know there are people who would kill to switch lives with me, but it still sucks. Last night was the first time in a long time that I allowed myself to feel any kind of pity or sadness about it. And I immediately noticed the effects of it.

Instead of feeling happy for all that I do have, all I could focus on was how much I'm missing out on. And, though it may not seem like it to an outsider, there's a lot that I've missed out on throughout the years. I call it like I see it. Last night, instead thinking that soon it could get better, I sat in that dark theatre and couldn't help thinking about where I could be if this hinderance wasn't in my life. 

As soon as I allowed myself to think this way, I became depressed and not like myself at all. I put on a good face for everyone and, being the wonderful people they are, my friends and family cheered me up to a degree. But once I had given myself the room to pity myself, it was as if I had unleashed a black hole inside of me that grew and grew. 

I realized that I have to keep a strong face, positive attitude, and hopefulness, not only for those around me, but for myself. I know deep down that all of this is God's plan for me and that some good will have to come out of it, but it's hard to think about that all of the time. But I have come way too far and pushed through way too much to give up hope now. I have never been, nor will I ever be, a quitter. And I truly believe that if you sit around and feel sorry for yourself, you've given up that strength and determination that will get you through. 

Believe it or not, even though those words flowed out of me, they were extremely hard to write. I'm not the type to tell anyone (other than my dear mom) how I'm feeling because I can't help but to think of it as a sign of weakness. I have this irrational fear that my concerns aren't legitimate enough, or I'm sounding like a big baby, mainly because I have heard so many people throughout my life whine and complain about things that are ridiculously irrelevant and petty and I've sworn to myself that I'll never stoop to that level (though I do have my moments.) But I'm also real and willing to admit that I can't keep up that cheerful personality 100% of the time. I'll assume if you've read this far, you probably care at least a smidgen of how I'm doing or what goes on inside my head, so thank you. Either that or you're extremely bored or nosy. Doesn't matter, I've been heard.

So now that I've spent about 30 minutes procrastinating on my ridiculously boring analytical English paper, I think I've scratched my blogging itch that's been bugging me for awhile. This wasn't a very good entry now that I look back on it... But it was what I was feeling at the time and I'm not gonna go back and change it, so DEAL WITH IT. lol jk you don't have to read ever again if you want, I understand. I've also noticed that I never go back and proofread any of my blogs because I feel like that'd take away the authenticity of it. Am I weird for that? Probably.

Anywho, this turned out longer than I thought it would. I think now I'll go and get some food and write a paper and deal with the awkwardness in my life (seriously I get myself into the weirdest situations) but what else is new? Keeps things interesting. 

And if I can say one thing for sure, it's that my life stays interesting. 

"The bad news is, time flies. The good news is, you're the pilot."

I got that deep down feeling that I need to write and express my thoughts again, and decided not to suppress it. After all, there's been a LOT going on lately - and even more that'll be going on in the days to come.

So, I'll start from where I left off. The first concert of the summer was Rascal Flatts on July 31st, which is pretty much a yearly tradition for my friends and I. The group ate supper at bdubs in Garner before rolling up to Walnut Creek. Opening for RF was Justin Moore (who was okay, nothing special in my opinion), Easton Corbin (whom I had already seen once at FFA National Convention in Indianapolis - he once again put on a great show!), and Sara Evans (who did fantastic, she's so beautiful). Rascal Flatts didn't disappoint; like always, they kept the crowd entertained and Gary's vocals were almost always spot-on. We were run out of there at the end by a huge thunderstorm that randomly popped up. We got soaked from head to toe.. but it was still fun!

 Only a few days later, Michael & I were taking the long drive to Charlotte, NC to see yet another concert - Gavin DeGraw, Train, and Maroon 5. While I had seen Train once before, I was SO pumped to see Maroon 5! We had lawn seats, and actually got a great spot to see the stage. I also got to meet my roommate Nicole for the first time! Gavin DeGraw actually had a great setlist and performance (and only days later, he was attacked and put in the hospital. CRAZY!) Train, one of my favorite bands of all time, did amazing! I absolutely love Pat Monahan. However, there were a few songs that I love that they didn't play... Bummer. While the entire concert was phenomenal, NOBODY compared to Maroon 5. I have to say, they put on the best show I think I've ever seen. It doesn't hurt that Adam Levine is drop dead gorgeous either ;) I left the amphitheater absolutely blown away! It was worth the long drive and late arrival home. If they ever come back to the area, I'll definitely buy tickets right away!

Since the concerts, my days have consisted of a LOT of dorm/school shopping, relaxing by the pool, and hanging out with my friends whenever possible. There's been a lot of catching up dinners, late night swims, cookouts, and last minute plans, and I wouldn't trade a minute of it! That leads to the root of my emotions tonight... Time has absolutely flown. I feel like I just entered my freshman year, blinked, and now I'm moving into my dorm room in 10 days. The reality of it hadn't hit me until I had the realization, "Wow... My friends are actually starting to leave!" I went to a "going-away cookout" for a close friend of mine, but considering he hasn't moved in yet, it still seemed surreal... Then tonight, I had dinner with a group of friends. One of my closest friends since middle school, Kara, is moving in tomorrow to NC State. Wake up call, much? Now, I feel like the time is being sucked into this big black hole, like water trickling through my hands before I can hold onto it. Weren't we all just sitting in the lunchroom in 6th grade, still assigned to our "class table" and always in jeopardy of silent lunch? And didn't we just cheer our high school football team onto a landslide victory over Princeton? It's all so unbelievable. I guess it won't hit home fully until I'm on a campus with 28,000 people, alone with 4 or 5 acquaintances, fending for myself. 

I chose my title for a reason. I can honestly say that throughout high school, I've steered my "time" in all the right directions. Did I goof off when I should have been productive? Probably. Did I make some bad decisions? Definitely. Did I have a blast in the process? Absolutely. I have made so many close friends and even more incredible memories that mean the world to me. And despite the several friendships, I've learned through many trials which bonds actually mean something. I've seen too many people come out of high school with a group of "bffs" that are only in the relationship for his/her own benefit. The friends that would put your interests and feelings before their own? THEY'RE the ones that count. The ones that I know will be there for me no matter the distance between campuses. I'm thankful for the tons of people that I've bonded with throughout the years, but I'm even more blessed to have those that I know genuinely care for me and my well-being. And I love them right back!

Anyway, that's enough venting for the night. I'm sure I'll be busy the next week continuing to try to see the rest of my pals before we all go our separate ways. Til next time :)

Quick but Memorable Beach Trip

I'm back from yet another vacation! On Monday, we headed down to North Myrtle Beach (Cherry Grove) to spend a few days with my Aunt Lin and cousins Lindsay and Karleigh. Because we didn't get down Monday night until around 9, we didn't have much time to do anything. But boy, were the kids excited to see us! I've got to admit, it's one of the best feelings in the world to know they're thrilled to spend time with me!

Tuesday afternoon, we headed out to run some errands as it was raining pretty hard and we couldn't go out on the beach. Afterward, we enjoyed a seafood lunch at Ella's restaurant in Calabash, NC. When we got back to the condo, we attempted to go out on the beach. Everything started out fairly well - even though it was cloudy, the girls were having a blast. Actually, my sister, Logan, and Lindsay were in for quite a surprise. While they were out playing in the ocean, a man who was surfing kindly came up and asked them if they would like to take a ride on his surfboard. Obviously, they couldn't turn that offer down! Logan and Lindsay had a blast riding it in to the shore a few times. Almost immediately after they got done playing, the wind picked up and began blowing like crazy. Then within seconds, the sky majorly darkened and thunder rolled. I swear, it was like a hurricane just sprouted up out of nowhere! We grabbed our things and made a mad dash for the room. Once we got there, we were out of breath and soaked! At the time it sucked, but looking back on it, it was hilarious.
After we cleaned up, my mom, Lin and I went to the mall to pick up a few things (such as a new dress for Saturday night! Score!) We then ate supper in the room and relaxed for the rest of the night.

The next morning, we headed back out on the beach where we saw several jellyfish - yuck! But once again, the kids had a blast playing in the ocean and many small cess pools along the shore. I love Cherry Grove for that reason - it's honestly a beautiful beach with things to do that are safe for all ages. The trip seemed to fly by as we left for home that afternoon. I had a great time with my family, Lin and the girls! They're a handful sometimes, but as sweet as can be. I can't count on my fingers how many times Karleigh randomly came up to me and said, "Yaya, you're beautiful!" Too cute!

Here's some pictures from our trip: 

 Logan and I got bored on the ride!

 Lindsay and Karleigh with their new kites.

 Logan: "SMILE, Lindsay!"

 Why are you taking my picture Lauren?

 Too sweet :)

 First surfboarding experience!

  Tired out after a long day of playing.. they look so innocent when they're sleeping!

 Thumbs up!

  Haha Karleigh's attempt at a "thumbs up"

So that's about it for this blog. Sorry, I know it wasn't very interesting, but it was a fun vacation for me! Tomorrow I'm going to get my hair done (YES!) and then Saturday night I'll be attending the Rascal Flatts concert with some of my best friends. I'll write later! :)

First Post, First Pennslyvania Trip, First Time Hitting the Lottery

Hi guys! I'm Lauren, though you probably already knew that. Anyway, this is my first post EVER on my first blog ever (ahh, so exciting!) This is something I've wanted to do for a long time, but I've never gotten around to it. I've always loved writing (as a kid I always dreamed of being a famous author like Jane Austen), and the other night I got the strongest urge to start writing again. Once I had the idea, it wrapped itself in my head and wouldn't let go. Anyone else ever had that feeling? No? Just me? *shrugs* Anyway, here I am!

They say to write what you know, right? So I guess a good place to start would be with what's been going on in my life here lately. On Sunday, my mom, sister, granny and I packed our suitcases and headed spontaneously to Lancaster, PA. When I say spontaneously, I mean very spontaneously. While on the way home from dinner Saturday night at 9 pm, my mom called me and said, "Hey, your granny wants to go see the Amish country. Want to go?" "HECK yes, I'll go!" I love traveling to new places, and I wasn't that surprised - most of our trips are super last minute (and they always turn out lovely). We enjoy flying by the seat of our pants.

So, off we went Sunday morning. The ride up was simply awful as traffic had us going a rushing 25 mph all the way thru Virginia (though it gave us a chance to take pics at every state sign like the tourists we are!) Then, once we arrived in Pennsylvania, I was in for a bit of a shock. I'll admit, I expected all of Lancaster to be rolling pastures and livestock. Instead, it was very urban - yet all of the roads were extremely confusing. Finally, around 9 pm, we checked into our room at the Hawthorn hotel, which was very nice and a warm and cozy 62 degrees. 

Monday, we began our day with brunch at the Good n' Plenty restaurant. It featured homemade dishes prepared in true Amish fashion. I was completely blown away with how delicious the meal was. Our menu consisted of fresh-squeezed lemonade, bread and butter, applesauce, chicken salad, roast beef, mashed potatoes, sweet corn, chow chow, fried chicken, sausage, noodles, cheesecake, apple cobbler, and ice cream. Everything was fresh and made by hand. If I ate that way everyday, I'd be bigger than the side of a barn. But it was so worth it! Afterward, we decided to drive around Lancaster to see what we could find. We had driven maybe five minutes when we passed a horse and buggy on the road. Squealing with excitement, we slowed down to get a better look. The Amish woman inside ducked her head, obviously trying hard to avoid our gaze. This made me think - how would it feel to have your day-to-day life scrutinized by dozens of outsiders? From that point on, I tried to be much more nonchalant about observing the Amish people. 

The Amish countryside is absolutely, amazingly beauitful. When at the top of a hill, you could see for miles and miles - rolling farmland, gorgeous barns, and TONS of corn. I'm a country girl (JoCo, represent!), but even I was blown away at the picturesque land. Another thing I was shocked at was the size of the Amish houses. I was picturing small, quaint country houses. Instead, we saw, for lack of a better word, mansions. I mean, these houses were GORGEOUS - three story brick and stone houses, perfectly landscaped. I get that they would need bigger houses as most Amish families birth at least 7 children during their lifetime, but they supposedly want a simple life. Doesn't it seem somewhat hypocritical to have such magnificent houses when it isn't all necessary? Needless to say, I left PA somewhat confused about Amish morals. Anyway, after driving around for several hours, we headed back to the room and called in a pizza.

The next day, we headed out once again to tour our surroundings (we had barely made a dent in touring the day before.) We visited a wonderful little bakery where we got lots of delicious goodies, and ate lunch at Miller's Smorgasbord (not as good as Good n' Plenty, but not bad.) We went to several quilt shops, which isn't really my cup of tea, but I couldn't help staring in awe at the handiwork in each quilt. I wanted one so bad - until I saw the pricetag. $1500... Ouch!

Now, my favorite part of the trip just may have been Intercourse. No, not that kind (get your mind out the gutter!) I mean the town of Intercourse, PA - which just so happens to be a few miles down the road from Fertility, PA. I wish I was making this up. Several small jam and jelly shops proved to have a great selection. We definitely loaded up on snacks, but how often can you buy Amish goodies? 

Tuesday night, we went to the Sight and Sound theatre to see a musical production of the Biblical story of Joseph and the coat of many colors. To say that it was spectacular would be an understatement. The acting and singing was phenomenal, as well as some of the most beautiful sets and stage props I've ever seen. Most importantly, the message driven home was priceless. I don't normally cry during that type of thing, but by the end when Jacob was reunited with his son, I may as well have had the Nile river flowing down my face. So powerful!

We had several other stops throughout the trip, but those were the main points. On the way home, we went through Baltimore, Maryland, which made me feel as if I was in one of my favorite movies, Hairspray. Good morning Baltimore! We also went through Washington DC where my sister was able to see the Capitol building for the first time (well, from a distance.) The most exciting part of the ride home was a quick stop at a Virginia gas station. On these girl vacations, we always buy scratch-offs as sort of a tradition. So, as I got out to stretch my back, we walked in and bought a few $2 tickets. We won 42 bucks! Woo! That may not seem like much (and probably doesn't deserve the term 'hitting the lottery'), but it made us all feel like winners. By the time we crossed over the Johnston County line, we all felt melancholy that our trip had ended so soon.

I've probably bored you all with my endless rambling, so wake up sleepyhead! I know you've dozed off. But I can honestly say, it was one of the best vacations I've ever taken. While it wasn't necessarily relaxing as we were on the go alot, I got to see new things and learn so much more. Beyond that, the memories made were priceless. My sister and I had a blast teasing my granny - "How's that Armish Resterenttt look?" As a whole, we bonded even more (if that's even possible!) and made plans to go back as soon as possible.

So, I guess that's about it for my first post. It was really therapeutic to be able to spill words out the way I have done the past hour and a half; just writing from the heart and mind without thinking too much about it. I hope it was as interesting to read as it was to write! Well, we're heading to the beach on Monday (yes, yet another vacation!) so I'm sure I'll be back blogging about our latest adventures. Ciao!