Q&A.

"Give me one reason to stay, and I'll stay. Give me one reason to leave, and I'll leave. I don't need you to need me; I'll be just fine being free."

I never fully understood the old adage "stuck between a rock and a hard place" until right now. It's to be so trapped between two extremes, each one so important yet so impossible, that you feel as if you're suffocating. Neither one makes sense. Neither one provides the best way out. So, you're stuck in this indecisive, confusing sandwich. Or maybe that's not what it means at all. Who knows anymore?

What do you do when the role you've played your whole life is suddenly cast to someone else, leaving you to play the part you swore you never would? What happens when the hunter becomes prey? The teacher becomes the student? The prince and his valiant steed become the ever-so-irritating damsel in distress? What do you do?

Where do you go from such a path of confusion? At a crossroads where each turn seems abominable? Choice One - maintain your dignity, take the safe way out, yet forever wonder. Choice Two - take that frightening leap, ignore every freakin' ounce of instinct, and risk forever kicking yourself for your stupidity. How do you make a decision like that?

How do you make sense of something that makes no sense at all? How can you handle a situation where every lesson you've previously learned from experience is negated, marked out with a permanent marker, crumbled and incinerated? For the first time in my life, there's no case study to use as an example for what actions I should take. There's no math formula or scientific theory to explain the correct course. The only tools I have to obtain answers are feelings. And quite frankly, that scares the daylights out of me.

Answers. Are there ever answers? Or just options? I've said all I want are answers. Clarity. Now, I'm not so sure. Regardless of what happens, I can't come up with a solution that I'd be fully and completely happy with. Is the situation that screwed up, or is it just me?

What do you do?

I suppose I'll just stay in the middle, teetering on this tightrope I'm walking, smiling and ignoring this brick wall I ram into everyday. At least I'm good at it.