So the whole, "I'm going to start blogging regularly" thing didn't work out so well. Therefore, one of my new year's resolutions is to try to write at least once a month. I'm guessing that's going to go as well as my "stop eating junk food and start working out" resolution will, which means it won't happen. Worth a shot though, so here goes :)
It's officially the last day of my winter break, and it absolutely flew by. The past 3 weeks were a blessing as I spent them with the most amazing family on Earth. It's true that the Lord works in mysterious ways. I left school in late December thinking that my break would be miserable and possibly relaxing. Little did I know that I would not only remember it as my best one yet, but that I would also learn so many lessons.
The first thing I learned was that no matter the situation, God always has something good lined up to come out of it. He has taught me that I am strong and courageous; I was placed in a position that many people would have given up in (and many people thought I should as well), but I'm not a quitter. I've set myself up for an extremely difficult road, but I can't allow myself to take the easy way out. But I'll be alright - I have great friends to walk me through it.
That leads me to my next realization - true friendship has nothing to do with how long you've known someone, but how much you mean to someone. I have definitely realized that over the past 3 weeks. I read a quote once that said, "you are who your friends are." Oh how true that is! I treasure the few true friends I have at home, but high school sets you up for the unrealistic expectation that you'll remain close with everyone in the years to come, while most of those friendships are based on superficial qualities. It's funny to think that a few months ago I was worried about making friends at school considering now I can't imagine my life without them. :) I've never felt so blessed for my friends in my life, and it's an amazing feeling to know that I am exactly where I'm meant to be! The older I get, the more I realize that you can't please everyone. And the older I get, the less I care. There are more important things and more important people to worry about; and while that makes me feel extremely old, I also feel liberated.
I've also figured out that sometimes, no matter how hard you try, you can't change someone unless they have the desire to. In fact, sometimes it leads to the complete opposite effect that you wanted. Sometimes, people become bitter, angry, and lose their way. And sometimes, there's nothing you can do for them but pray. I can tell I've grown in my faith because, even though I have a very quick temper, I don't stay mad for long or hold grudges. It's not hard anymore to pray for those who have done me wrong.
I definitely would have never guessed that one break could have clarified so much for me, made me so much stronger, brought the important things into focus, or made me feel so incredibly thankful, especially considering that to most, what I've been through is terrifying. Now, as I sit here on my last night in Friendly Kenly, I feel crushed. I miss everyone at UNC terribly, but there's always a gaping hole in my heart that can never really be filled as long as I'm away from my family. I'm about to start a brand new semester, one that will be filled with obstacles. The truth is, I may not even be able to finish what I'm going to start. But regardless of the outcome, there will be rewards. I feel sure of that.
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead." Philippians 3:13
